warrior

November 9, 2008

My warrior name – Peaceful eagle

It is exactly one week since I returned from Enlightened Warrrior Camp Training. I’ve waited one week to pen this post as I wanted to be sure what I’m writing is not just a bunch of leftover high energy feelings from the camp.

After one week, some of the traits and thoughts may have settle down reasonably and I’ll probably not be writing something hype and BS.

I am an awaken warrior. My warrior name is Peaceful eagle. After one week, I never seem to forget that at any moment this past week of my life, that is just so great.

On the first day of the camp, I said to my tribe I bring strength to the tribe…. I am glad I have not disappoint. On my last day I left the tribe, I brought home great inner strength.

Strength that comes from deep within the recesses of my heart, strength that I never knew exist or possible….

I was glad I gave my all, every single ounce of energy in me was sucked and drained dry from me in the battlefield called the “3 minute predicament”……..then and only then, when I thought this warrior has nothing left in him, did I find my true unstoppable abundance of deep inner strength.

It was like the floodgates to overflowing strength and bursting testosterone had been released. Every single deadly and vicious blow I deliver onto my buddy after that, I could feel his stance moving backwards, his legs began to wobble, visibly shaken and retreating from the punishing rain of firepower that was suddenly pouring at him.

I have found my warrior strength, something no one can give unto me or take away from me. Something each and every awaken warrior has in them, only waiting to be discovered and tapped into.

My greatest takeaway….. hmmm….. there was just so many…… I’m glad I did the right thing every night, in spite of battle wounds, aches and pains, in spite of lethargy n exhaustion, in spite of the inviting bed, in spite of mindfreaks and mind farts…. I parked myself in the last remaining light of my otherwise dark room, near the entrance n toilet, and profusely poured down every single “A-HA” moment I had that day in my journal.

I’m hoping I could capture the smell and texture of toufu soup  as I sipped n munched on them, the quietness of the moment, the unbearable heat and great discomfort in the thermaskul, the tension of fear, the flight of courage, the physically inflicted pains on my shoulders, the chaos and the challenges of the trek, the anger of fight, the wisdom of flight, the taunting of an enemy, the joy of love nearing death… each emotion, physical discomfort and pain, each joy of discovery, each realization of strength, all be as vividly encapsulated in my journal and brought back to life every time I read them.

I’m glad I came back with a better acceptance of ” What is “……… more on that later. And the importance of being present.  My ability to be aware that though my thoughts kept running to the future and hiding behind the past, I am able to bring it back to the present moment.

One excellent example was the exercise on the throwing of music eggs. A lack of concentration saw the fall of the eggs. What if the penalty of dropping the eggs had meant the life and  deaths of our parents or loved ones, will we still throw it frivolously and nonchalantly?

I learned that being present, giving my 100% concentration, gave me the power of catching every throw. I was not distracted by the noise and laughter around. Being present, each throw takes on itself a life of its own. It could be my life story, the up swing, the eggs leaping off my hands,the velocity and speed of the eggs, it reaching its highest point, the absolute drop, the changing of course, the adjustments of my hands in anticipation of catching it, the whole process seems to be in millions of fractions of a nano seconds… and nothing else in the whole world, nothing else in the surrounding, matters.

At that moment, I realized what it was like to be present in the moment.

” what is ” is something we have no control over, the rainy weather, an unreasonable request, the death of a friend, the betrayal of a dear one …. they are all ” what is ” happenings or events that had happened …. that which we have no control over. We have to accept “what is” , for it has taken place.

What we can control, is whether we respond and act or react to them. It is impossible not to feel anger, hatred, love, lust, joy, peace etc. I am not my mind, I am not my body. I am but the personification of my spirits….. spirits of a peaceful eagle.

It is impossible not to feel enrage when our best friends betrayed our trust, impossible not to feel hurt when the one we love hurt us emotionally, that is the ” what is “, but a warrior have a choice to choose how he wants to respond or take action, there is a fine thin line between reacting with rage when betrayed, reacting with anger when hurt or being aware of our emotion and responding to ” what is ” the best we can given the moment.

That is, what which I had somehow became enlightened to.  The importance of being present, the acceptance of ” what is “.  I know its kind of deep 🙂  but I’m glad I know now.

Once a warrior, always a warrior. I am the awaken warrior, my warrior name is Peaceful Eagle. I bring Peace. Aho!

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