Tonight’s mood is Beng. Yeah, typical Singaporean AH BENG in me mood.  Just managed to get connected with some old army kakis  through Facebook.  So I feel like expressing my Bengness….

Come to think of it, we are all a little of everything aren’t we? I use to get mad when someone says I’m stupid.

These days, I tell them ” hey, you’re right, I can be sometimes “.  When girls tells me I’m mean, rude and nasty, ” yeah, I kind of agree sometimes I am ” . When someone says I’m an asshole…. ” yeah, you know what, sometimes I can be too ” .

Because I come to realize that we human are multi faceted beings. There is an angel and a devil and everything in between in us.

Sometimes we’re really really nice when someone compliment about us, and since we like consistency, we continue to be nice to them. And there are other times when someone say we’re snob or unfriendly…. and we just had to continue to show them the darker side of us.

So, in BENGISM I ask  “ Are you happy ? ”

Say oso dun listen

Listen oso dun understand

Dun understand oso dun ask

Ask already oso dun do

Do oso do wrong

Wrong oso dun admit

Admit oso dun correct

Correct oso not happy

Not happy oso dun say

and so the vicious cycle begins again… how to be happy you tell me?

This is one of those days. I tossed and turned in bed from 3am to 5.45am and decided I’m just not about getting to sleep. Heck… is something troubling me? Why am I so awake?

Decided that the next best thing to do will be to go online. And there it is, news of a new toy in town for kids. A poll dancing doll. Interesting. Why didn’t I think of that? Kudos to the manufacturer for coming up with such a brilliant idea. They never stop at anything for the love of money.

Create a toy with a pole, blinking lights, disco ball, make it rotates and put a doll on it and sell it to the kids. Or rather, entice the kids to urge their parents to invest in it. How ingenious is that. I’m pretty sure parents will go ga ga over the possibility that their precious child will maybe someday be a pole dancer huh.

After a 3 months hiatus, I’m now marching back with a vengeance. The past couple of months had seen my thoughts fluttering like the paths of a carefree butterfly, erratic and definitely conflicting, contradicting and confuse.

In life, we win some…. and we lose some. And sometimes our vision gets so clouded by a web of illusion.  We never know for sure do we? What seems to matter to us most at the present moment and into the distant future, is really that important and what we think it is.  Only time can tell.

Come on, haven’t it occur to you? Looking back at some of your life challenges 10 years ago, what seems to be so devastatingly disastrous then has molded you into the person you are today,….much better off.

Most of us have been the cookie thief at some point of our life. We perceive a string of incidents in our very limited inner world to be the bone-crushing truths and reality. Of what is right and the gospel truth. But are we? Only time can tell….

Oh, in case you’re wondering what was the “cookie thief” persona I’m referring to, it’s a poem by Valerie Cox that we can all relate to. I’d like to share it here…

A woman was waiting at an airport one night
With several long hours before her flight
She hunted for a book in the airport shop
Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop
She was engrossed in her book but happened to see
That the man beside her as bold as could be
Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag between
Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene
She munched cookies and watched the clock
As this gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by
Thinking “If I wasn’t so nice I’d blacken his eye”
With each cookie she took he took one too
And when only one was left she wondered what he’d do
With a smile on his face and a nervous laugh
He took the last cookie and broke it in half
He offered her half as he ate the other
She snatched it from him and thought “Oh brother
This guy has some nerve and he’s also rude
Why he didn’t even show any gratitude”
She had never known when she had been so galled
And sighed with relief when her flight was called
She gathered her belongings and headed for the gate
Refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate
She boarded the plane and sank in her seat
Then sought her book which was almost complete
As she reached in her baggage she gasped with surprise
There was her bag of cookies in front of her eyes
“If mine are here” she moaned with despair
“Then the others were his and he tried to share”
“Too late to apologize she realized with grief”
That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief

Well, a warrior’s got to do what a warrior do. Instead of the average man’s beliefs of  “do - have - be”,
(1) to do what we have to do first,
(2) so as to have what we want to have and
(3) finally in order to be the person we want to be.

We have to ….

Be like a warrior,
Do like a warrior,
And eventually Have what we truly deserve as a warrior.

The way I see it,

A warrior should always be who you really are and say what you feel, those who mind don’t matter and those who matter won’t mind.