Last night I had the pleasure of catching up with an old friend of 18 years. And I think I might have shifted her perceptual wiring of who I am with some of the things I have said.
She brought along a friend of hers and somehow, the conversation dance and flirted around the vicinity of the law of attraction, the metaphysical and the magnificient magical word ….. F – E – E – L…….
What is ” feel “? Is it an intuition? A gut feeling? An internal dialogue from our higher self? Hmmm…. no one really can mark a vividly clear distinction to it, can we?
Feel is to me like an elusive and ephemeral experience, that happens for a split second, unfiltered by our map of the world, our conditioned upbringing and what society expects us to logically believe in. The moment our conscious mind interject us, pollute us with our internal map, it is no longer a FEEL, but a perception based on experiences we have gathered.
” The best things in life cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt. “
On the 28th of Dec 2009, when I turned 42, I celebrated by witnessing the phophesy of my scheduled thinking time coming to fruition. Spending 4 hours on an isolated eastern coast of Singapore. ( post : my best date ever 2009 ).
On the 29th, I did what I had to, to honor a vow I made 1 year ago. It was liberating… it really was.
Tranquility serenades my soul as I witness my crown of glory being strip. The flow of time and space seems to have been reduced to a perpetual crawl as hairs starts to be methodically crop, detaching itself and plunging in slow-mo onto its burial ground.
It was liberating to me because often times, we made resolutions that we don’t fultill or follow through. We just let what we say we’ll do but fail to commit to fade and sink into the deep recesses of our sub-conscious.
We allow ourselves that little leeway to falter, we gave concessions to our commitments by justifying with excuses why external factors had derailed us from our goals and dreams.
And unwittingly, we drown ourselves into the abyss of hopelessness and inevitably get sucked into the vortex of weaknesses.
Shaving my head, was the most painful thing I could think of socially. I knew that insidiously setting myself up with such a painful consequence should i fail to achieve my goal would ensure I did my level best to avoid it.
And when it was imminently obvious that I could not achieve what i had set out to do, the horror of shaving became an approaching anxiety that grew with heightened anticipation as each day draws closer. I felt my ego freaking out just imagining the harrowing experience of having to face all my clients, friends and family with a bald head.
The thought of backing out, of not keeping to my words, persistently haunts me every waking day with the impending arrival of judgement time. And when it did arrived, I had to make one critical decision, do i let what i vowed backslide into the background tapestry of my sub-conscious?
Forever engraved, woven and imbued of my failure to live up to my words, accumulating again yet another failed attempt, and surreptitiously belittling me in the near future, taking lightly what I say I’ll do by reminding me “it happens all the time, doesn’t it? I make resolutions but Its ok if i don’t follow through”.
And I am reminded thatI am a warrior. My warrior name is Peaceful Eagle. My word is LAW.
I keep to my commitments. And i shall not permit myself the power of being unconscious consciously. The power of asking ” I don’t understand why am I like that ” , ” I don’t know why this is happening to me ” absolving me from my responsibility to myself. That is like living unconsciously …. in my calibrated state of higher consciousness. That is no longer acceptable.
Having it shave liberated my anguishing conflicts within myself. For like Lao Tsu said… ” He who control others may be powerful, but he who master himself is mightier still ” .
What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now…. Buddha
For my toastmasters speech in the video above, I must confessed it was done solely for myself. The revealing of my bald head to an expectant audience was not meant to entertain but to expose my vulnerabilities, to seize the opportunity to humiliate my ego, to interpret those laughters not as a sign of applause but a metaphor of ridiculing at my illuminated cone head and the unique absurdity of how I am being perceived.
The evaluator commented or complained that I was preaching too much, and should try to make it more entertaining instead. How true is that?
Advance Project 2 from the storytelling manual is about sharing a personal story as the theme suggest, ” Let’s get personal ” . it was a speech not done to entertain but to preach. For what better time then the beginning of the year to share this personal story with all my friends.
That it is time to step up to your greatness, to not remain unconscious consciously, hovering in the vicinity of mediocrity. That it is time to edify the power from within that was innately your birth rights to begin with.
2010 is the year of inner growth. On being man. And a warrior. AHO!
Sunrise……. are you a morning or night person? Do you delights in the beauty of sunrise or the wonders of sunset?
Morning is a promise…. That much I believe. That everything I desire, my entire future, is contained in this day, at sunrise.
Some people jump from their bed in the morning and say “Good morning, God,” and some people say “Good God, it’s morning.” We always have a choice, don’t we?
Lately, I have been brewing plans for 2010. Having let it simmer in my head for the past weeks….the things I expect myself to achieve, the higher state of consciousness I expect to reach and how else to de-clutter my life.
And as simple as it sounds…. Where we look is often where we go. What we focus on is what we expand on. That’s how it is, isn’t it? Indisputable laws of the Universe.
I recalled one of the most powerful lessons I learned at a seminar some time back. Where a successful multi-millionaire speaks of his time in Wall Street with a top notch billionaire and the lesson he learns.
To cut a long story short, he learned that as busy as the billionaire is, he ( the billionaire ) always make sure he schedules “ thinking time “ for himself. And I thought…. Wow…. How profound is that.
I understand perfectly that …..
when we talk about it, we have a dream.
When we envision it, it is a possibility.
And only when weS-C-H-E-D-U-L-E it, does it becomes a reality.
I’m so looking forward to my transcendental date. No need for flowers, fine wine or gourmet delicacies.
Not even cell phones, Ipods, or money. All I need is just pen and paper. Identify an isolated spot at the beach. It will be just me, my ethereal consciousness and bubbling thoughts.
The glorious and rising sun, the boundless sea and it’s crashing waves, the miracles of nature evident from mother earth and the celestial Universe shall be my host.
With the invocation of divine assistance, I intend to
sieve thru my buffet of options,
ponder over the whole spectrum of possibilities,
reflect on whether the directions I’m heading are cosmicly given or ego wise taken.
I know that the magical 4 hours will be magnificent. It will be the most productive time I have spent in 2009……… for 2010. Everything is going to be manifested from my own volition.
Destiny is but clay in my hands.
Sunrise…. Everything I ever need and desire is contain in this day.
What are your thoughts on scheduling “thinking time”?
And a date with yourself, your true self, your higher self?