There is a criterion by which you can judge whether the thoughts you are thinking and the things you are doing are right for you.

The criterion is :  have they brought you inner peace? If they have not, there is something wrong with them - so keep seeking if what you do has brought you inner peace, stay with what you believe is right.

1908-1981, american peace activist
Peace Pilgrim

How many times have you felt immense joy, untainted and unadulterated  in its purest form, and were conscious of it? That you were aware you were feeling true pure and radiant joy?

Joy must not be confused with elated happiness, celebration or jubilation. Joy emagnates from within. It is unspeakable, undescribable and unfathomable. It occurs when your heart is touched in such a manner that you cannot withhold  your tear ducts from a surge of emotions.

Last wednesday marks the last day of school for the june holidays. And as reluctant as I was to see my class of cerebral palsy affected teens for the last time before a 1 month break, I was happy to see them excited about the holidays to come. No school ….. Yay! No pretense from them.

And we had 22 of this children age between 9 to 16, a third of them wheelchair bound, others some form of disability lay on a huge floor mat. A wheelchair bound kid feels vulnerable and uncomfortable when they are moved from their wheelchair. You can witness their body trembles uncontrollably when they are being moved away from their wheelchair.

Anyway, having them lie on the mat, vulnerable and expose was something they didn’t felt comfortable about. What happen next was we had this huge giant ball thrown into their midst, and they were suppose to pass the ball around to their friends, lying down. There was much fun as each physically challenged child had the ball rolling and tumbling over their body and putting massive efforts to have it pass along to their friends.

But what I didn’t expect coming was the amount of innocent laughters, joy and fun coming our of the circle. Take 22 innocent child, put them thru lots of fun and laughter, and you see the sparkle in their eyes, the laughter on their face, and the joy in their hearts. No one was thinking of anything else other than not to have the giant ball roll on their face and how to pass it to their friends.

The vibrational energy I felt standing on the outside of the circle was exceptionally facinating. It struck me like the satori of a moment what JOY really means. And there I stood, transfixed as time and space lose its meaning and appeal. Nothing else in the world really matters. I was in a zone…. In a moment of pure unpolluted JOY as the divine would have describe it.

A moment of Joy I was blessed to witness, to feel and experienced this day. It shall be kept forever etched in memory what is the meaning of JOY. For feeling joy is as simple as that, no need for material gains, no need for great achievements, no need for recognition, no need for success, no need for wealth and power.

Just being vulnerable and open to possibilities and challenges, being able to embrace what is to come and have lots of fun doing it. We humans just made it much more complicated than dogs do.

What I learned? We don’t have to always be the receiver of Joy. As the giver of Joy, we will be pursued with an abundant rockets of Joy. For what we give, we always receive in ten folds.

On the 28th of Dec 2009, when I turned 42, I celebrated by witnessing the phophesy of my scheduled thinking time coming to fruition.  Spending 4 hours on an isolated eastern coast of Singapore. (  post : my best date ever 2009 ).

On the 29th, I did what I had to, to honor a vow I made 1 year ago. It was liberating… it really was.

Tranquility serenades my soul as I witness my crown of glory being strip. The flow of time and space seems to have been reduced to a perpetual crawl as hairs starts to be methodically crop, detaching itself and plunging in slow-mo onto its burial ground.

It was liberating to me because often times, we made resolutions that we don’t fultill or follow through. We just let what we say we’ll do but fail to commit to fade and sink into the deep recesses of our sub-conscious.

We allow ourselves that little leeway to falter, we gave concessions to our commitments by justifying with excuses why external factors had derailed us from our goals and dreams.

And unwittingly, we drown ourselves into the abyss of hopelessness and inevitably get sucked into the vortex of weaknesses.

Shaving my head, was the most painful thing I could think of socially. I knew that insidiously setting myself up with such a painful consequence should i fail to achieve my goal would ensure I did my level best to avoid it.

And when it was imminently obvious that I could not achieve what i had set out to do, the horror of shaving became an approaching anxiety that grew with heightened anticipation as each day draws closer. I felt my ego freaking out just imagining the harrowing experience of having to face all my clients, friends and family with a bald head.

The thought of backing out, of not keeping to my words, persistently haunts me every waking day with the impending arrival of judgement time. And when it did arrived, I had to make one critical decision, do i let what i vowed backslide into the background tapestry of my sub-conscious?

Forever engraved, woven and imbued of my failure to live up to my words, accumulating again yet another failed attempt, and surreptitiously belittling me in the near future, taking lightly what I say I’ll do by reminding me “it happens all the time, doesn’t it? I make resolutions but Its ok if i don’t follow through”.

And I am reminded that I am a warrior. My warrior name is Peaceful Eagle. My word is LAW.

I keep to my commitments. And i shall not permit myself the power of being unconscious consciously. The power of asking ” I don’t understand why am I like that ” , ” I don’t know why this is happening to me ” absolving me from my responsibility to myself. That is like living unconsciously …. in my calibrated state of higher consciousness. That is no longer acceptable.

Having it shave liberated my anguishing conflicts within myself. For like Lao Tsu said… ” He who control others may be powerful, but he who master himself is mightier still ” .

What you are is what you have been, and what you will be is what you do now…. Buddha

For my toastmasters speech in the video above, I must confessed it was done solely for myself. The revealing of my bald head to an expectant audience was not meant to entertain but to expose my vulnerabilities, to seize the opportunity to humiliate my ego, to interpret those laughters not as a sign of applause but a metaphor of ridiculing at my illuminated cone head and the unique absurdity of how I am being perceived.

The evaluator commented or complained that I was preaching too much, and should try to make it more entertaining instead. How true is that?

Advance Project 2 from the storytelling manual is about sharing a personal story as the theme suggest, ” Let’s get personal ” . it was a speech not done to entertain but to preach. For what better time then the beginning of the year to share this personal story with all my friends.

That it is time to step up to your greatness, to not remain unconscious consciously, hovering in the vicinity of mediocrity. That it is time to edify the power from within that was innately your birth rights to begin with.

2010 is the year of inner growth. On being man. And a warrior. AHO!

to be continued…. the best is yet to come.